May Update

So this month has flown by! Fundraiser, Seven year Anniversary, CPR, Garage Sale, and all the other fun stuff!

We are patiently waiting on our Home Study and considering using another agency or just the State agent. I don't feel that our Agent is in any hurry to work with us but I am sure this is typical.

As I am sure most of you are aware we have been running our Fundraiser thru booster.com (Don't forget to buy your shirt). We are excited to see the support of our family and friends as you wear the shirts. Post a picture in your shirt with the #adoptionrocks on July 4th weekend! I know that a domestic adoption of an older child can be very cheap or even free but sometimes you have to pay the funds upfront and now you are not guaranteed to get it all back, we also have to pay attorney fees when we finalize the adoption (I have no idea how much to expect). When we started this process all the info we read talked about subsidies for the children until they are 18, now we are finding out that the money is not there. If you have a good attorney you may get a little but once again no guarantees. So if you are curious, this is why we are trying to raise funds. We are trying to save money as much as possible, I am going to take the girls to the free school lunch this summer in hopes of cutting down on our grocery bill. Adelaide has gotten involved and is reading books for a quarter each to raise money. She has such a big heart I love to hear her pray about our adoption. Thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting us through prayer and financially. Please continue to pray with us.

In other news...I got my CPR certification completed with my amazing sister in law Elisabeth Meyers. We had so much fun, not what you would typically say about a CPR class but we always have fun together. First of all we got a night off from our kids, Second we saw some amazing sights at our dinner, Thirdly our instructor was a hoot (I'm pretty sure she was snl character), Last but not least I met a couple going through the same process and they live close and we both know several of the same people from my church. Also I can check CPR off my adoption/foster care prep list.

This weekend I finally did the unthinkable! I started selling the girls baby clothes in our garage sale! It has been one of the hardest things I have ever done. There was actually a moment yesterday when a lady was buying a dress that both girls use to wear and I wanted to grab it and say "you can't have that" and run in my house and hide. But instead I took her dollar and said have a nice day ;) All this hard work was in effort to pay for Adelaide to go to summer camp, but now she is debating on getting a zoo membership. I would love to just save all the money and keep it for adoption fees but I don't want Adelaide to feel that she is no longer important to us. I still have a ton of clothes to sell on eBay and may make more than I did at the garage sale to save for adoption. As Bryan and I were cleaning up the last bit of stuff I was grabbing a few more baby items that I am not ready to part with and wishing my girls were still little. I came inside and laid down on the couch, next thing I know there is a baby curled up behind me sound asleep. I am so thankful for these sweet little moments when we need them the most.

 Happy May Everyone, Bring on June!

Why Should I Support Your Adoption?

James 1:27
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

 

Why Should I be supportive of your adoption? If you need my money you probably don’t need another kid! Why is everyone adopting kids for other countries when this one is full of kids who need loving homes? Oh look another trendy couple adopting international because it’s the trendy thing to do!  If you adopt from foster care you better sleep with one eye open.  If older Kids are in foster homes they don’t really need adopted.

If you have ever had any of these thoughts you are just like me and you should read this post. Throughout our short adoption journey I have learned so many facts that have changed my closed mind to all these myths.  I am going to dispel as many adoption assumptions as I can. (You know what they say about assuming)

International Adoption Facts

In many countries children age out of the orphanages at very young ages. In China most kids age out at age 14 for more info on this please read this article http://www.lwbcommunity.org/adoption-of-older-children

“Russia has over 700,000 orphans with only about 25% of them housed. By age 15 or 16 a Russian orphan will age-out of the orphanage system. They are sent back into the streets with about $30 and nothing else. Of course, due to poor conditions in the orphanages many of these kids run away long before they age out. More than half of these kids end up in jail or prostitution. A Russian orphan will have his passport stamped 'Orphan'. People do not want to hire orphans and do not want them marrying their children. They are considered outcasts. Many boys will join the military but because of their orphan status will get the most dangerous jobs. Only one out of 10 orphans will make to their 21st birthday. Most can't get jobs and the cycle of orphans continues.”  Taken from Debbie Mumm, Parent and adoption Coach.

Children living in orphanages are very neglected and are not receiving the loving nurturing care that they need. Many orphanages are under funded and under staffed. Babies in orphanages will learn all to soon that if they cry they may not get their needs met and will eventually stop crying.

 As a mother all these statistics are heart breaking. As a Christ follower I am very challenged to do more and ask myself why the body of Christ is not doing more!?!?

 

Domestic (US) Adoption

“In 2012, more than 23,000 children in foster care aged out of the system.

These young men and women left foster care not because they were reunited with their families or adopted, but simply because they were too old to remain in care.

Of the 397,000 children in foster care currently, over 20,000 have a case goal of emancipation.

The percentage of youth that age out of foster care has increased. In 2000, the percentage of exits due to aging out was 7 percent. In 2012, 10 percent of the children who exited foster care aged out.

Without family or any other dependable adults to rely on for assistance, these young people are at high risk of homelessness, joblessness, illness, incarceration, welfare dependency, early childbearing, and sexual and physical victimization.

According to various studies across the country of young people who have aged out of foster care without a permanent family:

• 12-30 percent struggled with homelessness

• 40-63 percent did not complete high school

• 25-55 percent were unemployed; those employed had average earnings below the poverty level, and only 38 percent of those employed were still working after one year

• 30-62 percent had trouble accessing health care due to inadequate finances or lack of insurance

• 32-40 percent were forced to rely on some form of public assistance and 50 percent experienced extreme financial hardship

• 31-42 percent had been arrested

• 18-26 percent were incarcerated

• 40-60 percent of the young women were pregnant within 12-18 months of leaving foster care.”

Taken from Childrensrights.org http://www.childrensrights.org/issues-resources/foster-care/facts-about-aging-out/

 

“Special placement needs” is a category covering social, medical, physical, and developmental challenges. Children may be described to have special placement needs when they are:

• Older than age 5. (In Indiana this is age 2)
• Part of a sibling group that needs to be adopted together.
• Precious ones who have a history of trauma.
• Children with identified physical, developmental, or emotional delays/disabilities.

 Based on these Facts we should be supporting all friends and family who choose to adopt, wheter it is international or domestic. As the body of Christ lets do more!

Exodus 22:22

Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do, and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.

Deut 10:17,18

For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing.

We Have No Idea, But God Does

This is the beginning of our journey, we are living it now...
When Bryan and I met 7 years ago on eHarmony we lived about 700 miles apart, so our first months of dating entailed us talking on the phone every day for 5-8 hours. We knew then that we wanted to have children and we also discussed that we had a desire for adoption. After having two biological daughters I was unsure if I could ever love another child the way I love my own. God continued to work in our hearts.
   So many things have directed us towards adoption. Last summer a family in our church shared their story of adoption and we both looked at each other with tears in our eyes and knew God was calling us to do this too. After church my husband leaned over to me and wispered, "we have the rooms lets fill them up". {check out thier story here http://babyabell.blogspot.com } We didn't really talk about it again much after that week then God did something a few months ago that only he could do. I kept coming across www.adoptuskids.org one day so I followed the link and viewed the children available for adoption (this is heart breaking) I came across one little girls profile video and knew that I could be her mom. I could love her. God used this to open our hearts to action, we got all the info we could, contacted a christian agency, and registered for RAPT classes. (These are the state required classes for foster care and adoption) We just finished our second 8 hour Saturday class today, only 1 more to go! We could not do this without friends and family stepping up and helping to care for our children Thank you so much to all who have helped :)
   At this point we are not 100% sure of what age child/children we will care for or if we will just Foster or foster to adopt. Also I have started an application process to become an advocate working with an organization called The Forgotten Initiative. www.theforgotteninitiative.org  Our eyes have been opened to a Broken system that is producing Broken children. We will be a voice, an advocate for these children and also for Foster parents.
   Please continue to be in prayer with us. Thank you and God Bless,
The Murrays